


Another Soldier

by SpacePunkStevie



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: I'm Sorry, M/M, Tragedy, i'm very very sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 19:45:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4405061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpacePunkStevie/pseuds/SpacePunkStevie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which, when Steve breaks Bucky's brainwashing, Bucky remembers everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Soldier

‘Because I’m with you ‘til the end of the line.’

He stopped. He had to. Because he’d heard those words before, so long before that he couldn’t even be sure he hadn’t dreamt it. But he didn’t dream any more, he didn’t sleep except in the ice, and underneath the blood and bruises from the knuckles of his closed fist he recognised that face.

_I’m with you ‘til the end of the line._

A jolt, and the Winter Soldier- _Bucky_ , the man had said- was brought back to the present. The ship was falling, Hydra was falling, and now the man had slipped through the metal and was falling down to the shining water far below, like his shield so many seconds before.

Steve.

Bucky jumped.

He remembered the train, remembered Steve reaching out for him, remembered how he couldn’t reach far enough. And this time he swore that it wasn’t going to end like that. So he jumped in after him, aiming for the white inkblot in the water that marked where his friend had disappeared.

It was freezing. It was freezing and dark and Bucky was terrified, but he kept his eyes open. Steve was a sinking shape below in the shadow and Bucky remembered everything.

Years ago. Years and years when Hitler marched across Europe and the world painted itself in the sepia tones of the period, Bucky had pulled his best friend to his feet in an alley behind a movie theatre and warned him not to try and enlist again. They’d catch him. _Worse, they’ll actually take you_. He remembered the feel of his new uniform with the thick green cloth and the belt tight across his waist. It was supposed to feel like pride. It felt like a prison. But Steve had wanted one of his own and Bucky had watched him find different queues in different places where they marked the different form with the same stamp. And Bucky warned him about getting caught and usually didn’t say anything about how he was much more worried that he wouldn’t. That he’d end up fighting.

His metal hand closed on the leather strap – the one that had held in place the shield he now remembered so well - and tugged upwards to begin swimming back towards the daylight. He could feel the tightness in his lungs now, burning across his chest and making him swim all the harder as he sought out air.

Steve had joined the army, the idiot. They’d both been soldiers, and they were soldiers still. This time they had been on opposing sides, but never mind, they were here now. Everything was going to be fine.

They broke the surface, a little dazed, and he dragged in the fresh air gratefully. Steve was there beside him, supported by the metal arm holding him in place. He was breathing, but Bucky couldn’t really tell if he was conscious.

‘You idiot.’ he gasped, beginning to tread water in the general direction of the nearest shore, ‘What did I tell you?’

Steve was weight keeping him from moving with any speed, but he kicked out behind him all the more furiously and struggled on with one arm.

 _I’m with you ‘til the end of the line_.

‘At that fair, you remember? Stark promised us flying cars in a few years and it’s been decades.’ Bucky paused, another memory coming to him of a mission and a car crash. He tried to forget the image, taking a deep breath and launching back into it, ‘I told you not to do anything stupid, didn’t I? I told you not to do anything stupid and immediately afterwards you joined the army.’

His voice was becoming more breathless as he fought his way through the water.

‘You didn’t even wait a few minutes. You didn’t come dancing with us, or pause for a drink. You just listened to me tell you not to do anything stupid and then turned around right away and enlisted. You complete idiot.’

There was a sound from Steve that might have been a laugh, and Bucky pulled him up closer and further out of the frigid water.

‘You awake Stevie?’

There wasn’t any response but the splashing of his swimming. He was much closer to the shore now, and it wouldn’t be long until he could stand up.

‘Steve?’

‘Bucky.’

The voice was weak, but it was there. Bucky fixed his eyes and his hope on the shore. Not far. Not too far now. They would make it soon. Not far at all.

‘I’m here. I’m right here. I’m going to get you to safety so just hang on, try to stay awake.’ he waited for another response, but none came, ‘Your people know where you are. They’ll come for you.’ he was fighting to keep his voice steady now, ‘You’re an American hero.’ -just a little farther- ‘Come on Stevie, stay awake now. You did it, you won. You saved so many lives today. And I’m- I’m sorry about everything. I didn’t mean…’

His feet brushed the silt on the ground beneath the water. Finally his legs could take his weight. Now he was trudging through the mud and remembering the way Steve had looked at Peggy. It was the forties, he wasn’t supposed to think like that, so he had kept quiet. But that was so, so long ago and Steve was there and Bucky wondered how many times he had looked at that skinny idiot that way.

‘I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to make up for what I’ve done for Hydra, except to say that I didn’t really know what I was doing.’

The water was down below his knees now, and without its support Steve was heavy in his tired arms. And god, please let those be sirens in the distance.

‘And I’m sorry for what I did to you. I didn’t know it was you. I didn’t know I was me but I remember now. I remember who we used to be and I’m going to try my best to make up for everything. We’re going to be alright, okay?

The water was at his ankles, and then he was dragging Steve onto the shore. Those were definitely sirens.

‘And there’s something I want to tell you,’ he continued, as he finally finished his work and was left waiting for help to come, ‘and I probably should have told you a long, long time ago but things don’t always work out that way. So-’

Steve’s eyes were open, but blank, focussed on a point beyond Bucky’s head.

_Oh god._

‘Steve?’

Saying his name couldn’t help, he knew this, but he felt his stomach drop and his chest tighten like he was still underwater and he was trying his best to disprove the evidence of his eyes.

‘Steve?’ he tried again, and this time he heard the waver of his own voice. He had been going to tell him. _He had been going to tell him_.

Bucky was on his knees next to his friend, his fingers at his neck. There was no fluttering of life there, but he didn’t move. When had Steve died? How much had he heard him say? He kept his fingers there for five, ten, thirty seconds just hoping he was wrong. The words he would never get to say ran through his head again and again. Over and over until they were pounding in time to his heartbeat. But not to Steve’s; Steve Rogers' heartbeat was forever stilled.

So he dropped his hand to his shoulder and kept it there. All he could think was how he put the same hand on the same shoulder when they were both younger.

_I’m with you ‘til the end of the line._

A hand was on his own shoulder and he flinched, coming back to the present like the dropping of a stone. Steve was still. Bucky was shaking.

‘Sir?’

Bucky didn’t say anything, but he let his arm drop and the strangers work with gentle, subdued movements.

‘Sir?’ the voice tried again. It was a female voice, and when he looked up the woman speaking took a tiny step back. She was scared of him but that was understandable. He ran through the past hours, past days, past decades, to find some way to explain.

The only words he found were ‘I knew him.’

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I wrote this last year specifically to make my friend sad so, y'know, sorry about that ending.


End file.
